61. All aboard for Joyce Green Hospital

Key words/phrases: No. 490 bus service, the Downs Estate, the Fleet Estate, the Temple Hill Estate, Bow Arrow Lane, RT-class REC Regent double-decker buses, Maggie Thatcher, Nicholas Ridley, London Country Buses (South East), the firework factory on Joyce Green Lane.

No. 61

I suppose that you’ve heard the joke about the two drunks who were waiting for their bus to arrive at the bus stop at the foot of Station Approach, Dartford ? When a No.206 bus finally pulled up one of the drunks called out to at the bus conductor who was inside taking fares: 'Will ziz buz take mi to Joyce Green H-o-z-i-t-a-l ?" “No ! I’m sorry mate” the half amused conductor called back. Two seconds later the second drunk lent in - towards the bus platform and called out: “An waz about me, my good man: 'Will it take ME ?!”

Not only had the second drunk got a distorted perception of his acceptability as a potential bus passenger but of course he’d got the wrong bus, hadn’t he ?

In fact it was the No. 490 which served Joyce Green Hospital on the long running route between the Downs Estate and the Fleet Estate, via Dartford centre and the Temple Hill Estate, wasn't it ? The service was operated for years from the Dartford garage using RT-class REC Regent double-decker buses which even served Bow Arrow Lane at one point (in 1963).

In January 1970, as the result of a rationalisation plan dreamed up by Maggie Thatcher and Nicholas Ridley, the then Minister of Transport country areas around the periphery of London suddenly found themselves on their own – outside the remit of the red London Transport bus system with a fleet of very old (or “clapped-out”) vehicles, an impoverished maintenance infrastructure and very few senior managers with any real commercial experience.

From 1972 a corporate image for the National Bus Company became mandatory by which time the presentation and services provided by London Country Buses had reached an all time low. At this point a decision was also taken that the fleet vehicles would be repainted a sludgy green colour (known in the trade as Leaf Green) with white relief and I expect too that some of you who are reading can also remember the green London Transport version of the staff uniform being replaced by unrelieved grey colour uniform, which looked very drab and industrial ?

In 1985 the London Country Bus Service was divided into four sections with services in North East Kent finding themselves managed by London Country Buses (South East) although what happened to the overall service - but in particular to the service that served Joyce Green Hospital - I have no idea since I was longer working there.

Can you remember using the No. 490 service as an employee at the hospital or as a relative or visitor?

Do you remember how the bus used to make a detour each morning and evening to the isolated firework factory down on the salt marshes behind Joyce Green Hospital to deliver and pick up some of the factory workers ?

And did you ever worry about being spotted leaving work early by one of the senior Hospital Administrators or one Matron's staff peeping out from their office windows which overlooked the bus terminus in front of the main Admin Block building ?

Or do you remember the friendly bus conductors calling out: "Joyce Green Hospital, all change !”and “Mind the step as you go !”